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Holding Space for Heart Healing as Mothers

Sometimes we are called to undergo a journey of deep heart healing, a time when energy and emotions need to flow through our hearts as part of them seeking to be held and completed.

When unexpected events or experiences happen, these can radiate out to touch the heart of each person within the family in profoundly different ways. 

This can include biomedical challenges, which can have a huge impact on a child’s body and emotions, and in turn, the entire family system.

Each person will have their own unique, internal experience and different parts arising from the impact felt in their bodies.

Often this heart healing opens when we have called in deeper resources and support around us, which enables us to drop into deeper layers of honouring and allowing the remanets to be held and welcomed.

It is like a spiral where different parts feel safe to be welcomed and held in new ways throughout our lifetime.

There is an innate body wisdom that lives within each of us. The human body has an innate capacity to heal. All we need to do is to open and allow that possibility and create the conditions for that to unfold.

As mothers, we are called to hold that sacred space in our families and to hold that container.

To be the safe haven for our children to come home to, and for ourselves to rest into.

When we open to this space of family heart healing, we open to witnessing and accompanying our young inner parts, as well as the parts within our children. We open to holding the entire energy field of the family system.

And we are called to open our hearts to both the pain and the beauty within the same moment.

This is known as an emotional project in Hand in Hand Parenting.

It sets a powerful intention to be able to welcome and hold our children through that deep lens of compassion that feelings from the past are flowing through them and coming out in the present moment upsets.

Aware Parenting also holds space for this in such a beautiful way, honouring how we are always seeking to heal through similar experiences that arise.

When we open to see the thread of this deeper layer beneath our children’s behaviour, we begin to soften into weaving that cocoon of safety to be able to allow the deep healing repairs to unfold.

We can provide what was missing in that moment when the unexpected event, or experience, originally occurred.

Recently, I experienced a profoundly beautiful moment that captures this as part of our own personal heart healing journey.

I am choosing to not share the details of this life event, as I deeply honour my children’s journeys and their right to choose what they share as they grow.

I will share a little piece from one moment and from a very general lens around how I embody this heart healing space within myself and for my family.

Recently, my daughter was feeling sadness and remembering something from the past that the present moment had awakened.

I find that our bodies are always seeking to complete, and old layers of hurt will be touched through new, similar experiences that remind us of those original experiences of hurt. Each new moment is an opportunity to hold old wounds with deep love and compassion. We are invited to infuse our newly embodied heart wisdom in new ways. 

I held space for my daughter on the couch and listened to all the emotions that were flowing through her. Then my son came over from the kitchen to sit with us, and I could see he was deeply touched by what my daughter has shared, and his tears began to flow as it awakened a tender part in him that was needing to be held.

After holding space for him, I then softly said to them both: “There is so much space here to allow all parts of us to be held”.

I allowed my intention of welcoming all parts and there being so much space for all parts of us to be there, like a cocoon enveloping all of us.

My children felt this energy, and I witnessed this exquisite dance of each child sharing a layer of grief, me holding that with love, and this flowing back and forth like a pendulum.

They were both sharing their own unique inner experience of the same moment.  I met each layer with a deep repair and acknowledgement around the original experience seeking to be healed.

Through holding memories of old experiences in deep love and compassion we can transform how those memories are stored in our bodies and change the quality of them.

What unfolded felt truly magical and I felt so profoundly grateful for it, especially as there have been many moments that I, along with every mother, has experienced that flow not unfolding.

When we ground ourselves in that space of compassion and trust in our ability to hold all parts of our children and ourselves, something magical can open in that space.

Our children will feel that our hearts can hold all their emotions and that nothing is too much.

Afterwards, when I was driving to an appointment later that day, I created a window to connect with a friend to share my inner experience and enable my inner parts to be held and resonated with.

This is part of the beautiful dance of mothering is that we need to ensure there are listening partnership spaces where we can be held with deep empathy to enable us to hold that deep empathic space for our children.

I allowed my grief of this original experience, and the impact on each of us, to be held with deep care and compassion.

Our children need us to accompany them. To feel us joining with them and to be deeply known and gotten by us. Like instruments resonating with one another in vibration.

As humans we need to feel that resonance vibrating within our bodies when we are with another. This is the greatest gift that we can give to ourselves and to our children.

If you are on a journey of heart healing with your family I am reaching out to let you know that I see you deeply.

I honour deeply the courageous journey of the heart that you are on. As families we are so interconnected where we all impact and affect one another.

And I am reminding you of the innate wisdom and resiliency that is our birthright and that lives within us.

I am reminding you of how your body is seeking to complete any incomplete survival energy to reclaim its life force and resiliency.

That there is so much support all around you.

Our bodies know what to do when the right conditions and environment is nurtured to support that.

The impulse to seek completion is within every cell of us.

That is why committing to our own inner healing is the most essential component of parenting. For this creates more inner space and safety for us to be able to be the safe haven that our children need, most especially when we are healing as families from events which happen out of our control.

I’m reaching my hand out to yours and letting you know that my heart is with you. And I am trusting deeply in your innate capacity to hold that safe container for yourself and your family and to seek the support that you need as part of your family heart healing journey.